I’ll start by saying: I’m not in the habit of going round insulting people. Wouldn’t have the nerve, to be honest. But if there’s one thing we’re good at in Ireland—besides tea and quietly enduring things—it’s colourful language. Especially when we’re giving someone a gentle (or not-so-gentle) slagging.

Irish insults are a bit like turf fires. They might burn low, but they linger. They’re usually not meant with full venom either—more often they’re laced with humour, and only half serious, if even that. So, I went poking around a bit—books, old sayings, things I’ve heard on buses—and here’s a look at some of the greats.

1. Eejit

Definition: A fool. But somehow… a lovable one.

This is probably the most widely used Irish insult, and it’s weirdly affectionate. You’d call your mate an eejit for forgetting his umbrella on the one day it’s bucketing down sideways, but you’d still hand him half of yours. There's rarely true malice in “eejit” – it’s almost a term of endearment with a raised eyebrow.

Example:
"He went out in a t-shirt in February. The man’s a total eejit."

2. Gobshite

Definition: Someone who talks rubbish, or just talks too much.

This one’s a bit more biting. “Gob” is Irish slang for mouth, and a “shite” is... well, you can guess. So, a gobshite is literally someone who speaks nonsense. You wouldn’t call your granny this—unless your granny’s particularly sharp-tongued and might call you it first.

Example:
"I wouldn’t listen to a word he says, the gobshite."

3. Chancer

Definition: Someone who pushes their luck and gets away with it more often than they should.

A chancer’s got nerve. Not in an admirable way, necessarily. They’ll borrow your charger “just for a minute” and walk off with it. But again, there’s a smirk to this word. You’re annoyed, but maybe slightly impressed.

Example:
"He tried to bluff his way into the gig without a ticket. Total chancer."

4. Dose

Definition: A bit of a pain. A walking, talking inconvenience.

“Dose” is one of those great Irish words that can be used for people, situations, or even the weather. A person can be “a right dose,” meaning they’re a bother. You wouldn’t say it lightly, but it’s not quite a curse either.

Example:
"He stood me up again. What a dose."

5. Bollix / Bollocks

Definition: An all-purpose insult, ranging from affectionate to deeply unkind depending on the tone.

"Bollix" is versatile. You can call your dog a bollix for chewing your boots, or you can mutter it under your breath when someone cuts you off in traffic. It can also refer to something going wrong, e.g., “He made a right bollix of it.”

Example:
"Ah you bollix, you drank the last of the milk!"

6. Wagon

Definition: Usually aimed at a woman who’s being unpleasant or bossy. Not the most flattering, but quite common.

“Wagon” is harsh, and should be used sparingly unless you're deliberately looking for trouble. That said, some folks wear it like a badge of honour.

Example:
"She gave out to the whole queue for no reason. Absolute wagon."

7. Dry Shite

Definition: Someone who’s no craic. Doesn’t join in the fun. Bit of a mood hoover.

The kind of person who leaves the pub early or doesn’t laugh at a dirty joke. Probably watches serious documentaries and tells you to lower the music.

Example:
"Don’t invite him, he’s a dry shite. He’ll only moan about the noise."

Final Thoughts

What I love about these insults is that they often walk the line between cheek and charm. They’re rarely brutal—more like verbal nudges than punches. And behind a lot of them is a sense of community. We only insult the people we like... or at least tolerate.

There’s poetry in it too, in its own weird way. A kind of verbal jazz passed down through generations of people who knew how to laugh at themselves. Which is maybe the most Irish thing of all.

I’ll leave it there. If you’ve any favourites I’ve missed, drop them in the comments. Quiet lads like me don’t always speak up, but we do take notes.